"How to Land Your Kid in Therapy" by Lori Gottlieb talks about how easy it is for any set of parents to easily screw their kid(s) up. Parents range from the best friend set of parents- allowing their kids to do whatever they want whenever they want in order to appear cool in order for their kids to like them, to the helicopter parents who hover over every aspect of their children's lives, making sure they are the perfect chill who will transform into the perfect teenager who will one day be the perfect adult.
This issue relates to every human being who exists. Parents will be parents. Personally I find this whole issue hypocritical because parents are all going to have very different types of parenting methods . There is nothing that can be done about that. It exists in society today and will continue to exist until the rapture of the world happens! (Which has been re-scheduled for October 21, 2011 but that's another issue.) Just because psychologist and psycho analysts point out the fact that parents are screwing up their kids, that doesn't mean anything. All it really does is get said parents frustrated, along with their kids who wonder "Really? What is wrong with me? If anything is wrong with me, it's definitely not my fault. My parents raised me, they did this to me!"
The phrase "mother knows best" is really taken to heart. Every mother thinks she knows everything about what will ever be the best for her child and therefore caters her lifestyle in order for the best for them. Just because a psychologist points out that a mother might be "loving her child too much," that is not going to stop her. That woman really does love her child and probably does smother them too much, but nothing is going to change. She is going to continue to act in the same manner towards her kid for 18 years until he or she ventures off to college, and both the mother and the child are forced to learn the hard way what separation really is. Another example is the helicopter parent. They too will eventually learn that they cannot control every single aspect of their child's life after they leave for college. There has to be a point in time where the cliche "bird has to fly away from the nest." But that time isn't now, is it? No, let's be overbearing and annoying.
I feel as though the only way to fix this problem is for parents to actually listen to what self help they have requested. But they do not, and the cycle of life continues. Screwed up kids have weekly visits to psychologists, psychologists take notes of them and mentor young growing families, but the families do not listen, and eventually evolve into those same 20 something's crying on the couch. I hate to sound so cynical in this blogject, but I feel this is very true! We live in the United States of America where we can fix all of our problems ourselves. We don't need anyone else's opinion ever, and if it is given to us; who are they? They don't know us! How can they tell us to live our lives? What I'm trying to get across is that everyone is screwed up. Psychologists chose their profession for a reason. Just because we inform people of what we think, it doesn't mean that we necessarily are going to take their advice. Crazy parents will be around for the eternity of time, we just have to deal with them and their crazy kids.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
"Kenyon Commencement Speech" by David Foster Wallace
David Foster Wallace gave the commencement speech to the graduating class of 2005 at Kenyon University. Normally, commencement speeches are positive and happy; insinuating that all college graduates' lives that now begin will be nothing but a bright filled future, and that all of their wishes, dreams, and goals will be achieved. This is not the case with David Foster Wallace. He is frank and honest with the graduating class of 2005 by simply stating this:" Life is hard. You just have to deal with it." Although, David does not say this as kindly as he could have. He goes to great extent when talking about how people can take either a negative outlook on things, or a positive outlook. Usually people take a negative outlook, focusing everything around themselves. David says this is due to our natural or "default" settings. People tend to want instant gratification, and we will do anything to get it. Anyone who happens to get in our way or ruin our plans are just complete jerks who don't care about us in the slightest. Why does this sixteen year old check out clerk have to be so bad at her job? Why does this eighty year old driver in front of me have to be going so slow?! Clearly they have no idea I'M in a hurry and I can do all of this better and than everyone else. After giving examples like those, David then turns his speech around entirely. He tells the graduating class that even though our tendency is to have these thoughts; we have the choice to be happy and to put our love into action. We have the freedom to think twice about what we may think, say, or do. David says real freedom is being educated, an that education teaches you how to think.
I wish I could have been there to hear David give this speech and to be able to look around at everyone's facial reactions to the words coming out of his mouth. It totally crosses the line of what a "normal" commencement speech sounds like! I mean, who ACTUALLY says what they are thinking? Much less in front of a graduating class and their entire families? I appreciated David's blunt-ness. As abnormal as the speech was, it speaks the absolute truth to me. The main point that David Foster Wallace is trying to sell is peace. He is trying to say give peace a chance. If us people as a population weren't so hostile and self centered, there would be greater opportunities for our very high earning college education to be lived out in everyday life. There is so much depression, war, envy, and anger in this world. We may not be able to help with every world conflict, but our little interactions can become chain reactions.
For example, simple sign of peace would be to smile and say hello to someone you are next to in the bank line or by pushing in your chair and saying thank you to the waiter when you leave a restaurant. Smiling and being kind to someone might be the only kind thing they hear or see all day, and it can cause a chain reaction- kindness progressing from person to person.
I appreciated David Foster Wallace's honesty in his commencement speech to Kenyon. Honesty can be very refreshing because it is something we don't hear all that often. I took his message to heart, and I only hope that the Kenyon class of 2005 did as well. Give peace a chance, its wonders are amazing.
I wish I could have been there to hear David give this speech and to be able to look around at everyone's facial reactions to the words coming out of his mouth. It totally crosses the line of what a "normal" commencement speech sounds like! I mean, who ACTUALLY says what they are thinking? Much less in front of a graduating class and their entire families? I appreciated David's blunt-ness. As abnormal as the speech was, it speaks the absolute truth to me. The main point that David Foster Wallace is trying to sell is peace. He is trying to say give peace a chance. If us people as a population weren't so hostile and self centered, there would be greater opportunities for our very high earning college education to be lived out in everyday life. There is so much depression, war, envy, and anger in this world. We may not be able to help with every world conflict, but our little interactions can become chain reactions.
For example, simple sign of peace would be to smile and say hello to someone you are next to in the bank line or by pushing in your chair and saying thank you to the waiter when you leave a restaurant. Smiling and being kind to someone might be the only kind thing they hear or see all day, and it can cause a chain reaction- kindness progressing from person to person.
I appreciated David Foster Wallace's honesty in his commencement speech to Kenyon. Honesty can be very refreshing because it is something we don't hear all that often. I took his message to heart, and I only hope that the Kenyon class of 2005 did as well. Give peace a chance, its wonders are amazing.
Monday, September 5, 2011
"Old Faithful" By David Sedaris
David Sedaris' Old Faithful is his tale of what he finds to be "true love." In his narrative, Sedaris begins by stating that he has a boil located directly on his tailbone. He describes that at the time he and his partner were currently residing in London, and the reason he did not want his boil to be treated is because a doctor's visit would be beyond expensive. Although the boil is an extreme nuisance and is quite painful, David does not complain the slightest bit. He compares himself to his partner Hugh, who complains about every paper cut and bug bite he ever got. Whilst comparing injuries, David then reminisces about his old partner, his family, and how crazy they were. He realizes that there were so many things in that relationship, and that starting a new relationship is like opening a new package- the person is new, shiny, and fun to be with!
Contemplating his new relationship, they review their similar interests, dislikes, pet peeves, and fears. It seems to be going great! Until after a while, when it seems like there is nothing to talk about. David even reads the newspaper before going out for a dinner date with Hugh. They are like the old couple silently eating their meal in a restaurant. But over time, the two come to the realization that having a stable relationship doesn't necessarily mean that conversation ALWAYS has to be had. This is exemplified through the phone conversation when they talk about both having consumed potato chips that day. That literally was the extent of their conversation, but neither hang up. They enjoy each other's presence, not necessarily every word said aloud.
As the story draws to a close, we are taken back to the fact that David is still stuck with a boil located on his bottom, and he has not yet sought treatment. One night, Hugh unexpectedly suggests to "lance" said boil off of David. Hugh bravely takes care of the problem, telling David that the boil was more of a pain to him than it was to David. They both survive the horrendous sight and stench and return to bed. David then gives Hugh the nickname '' Sir Lance-A-Lot" even though neither of them planned on doing that more than once. Hugh takes the nickname upon, knowing that he will be there to do it again if necessary at any point in the rest of their lives; when eventually THEY will be the old monogamous couple.
This story relates to me because although I have never been in a relationship, I have experienced the closest thing to it- being able to witness my brother and sister-in-law's marriage. I lived with my brother, sister-in-law, and their dog, Jed, for a month. Each day I would arrive home from school, take Jed for his walk, and then shortly after that Tommy and Christina would arrive home at about the same time. The greeting each early evening would be "Hey." "Hi!" The two would then retire their bags and work items, and then fall into the seats of the couch cushions in exhaust. There would be silence as Jed would be flooded from attention from all three of us; until I would pipe in "So how was your day?" Tommy would always respond back first. "Uhh… okay I guess." I didn't even have to ask Christina, she was always eager to say "Well my day was awful. The only reason I keep this job is because every spring I get a raise, and when I think about quitting in the fall I get a promotion." Then we would resume our silence, I would mumble something about doing homework and leave, but the two would sit together smiling, just petting Jed and enjoying each other's presence.
In the portion of the story where David and Hugh are talking on the phone solely about coincidentally having potato chips for lunch but neither wanted to hang up, I was reminded of Tommy and Christina. It isn't even the fact that the two of them can enjoy meals together in silence, or just make minimal small talk conversation, but also that throughout the day they will gmail chat each other about things totally irrelevant, but still enjoy the conversations. The point that I am trying to get across here is that actions speak louder than words. David and Hugh can enjoy hearing each other while filling up time talking about chips. Tommy and Christina can enjoy each other's humor while filling up time talking about different bed comforters and duvets.
Love is a universal language that can be spoken by all. It appears in the media as always being perfect, with regular conversations always had, and no problems ever. That is a false statement. There will be ups and downs, and topics of conversation that you never thought possible. Each couple is their own "Sir Lance-A-Lot," and hopefully no couple will ever have to brave their own boil.
Contemplating his new relationship, they review their similar interests, dislikes, pet peeves, and fears. It seems to be going great! Until after a while, when it seems like there is nothing to talk about. David even reads the newspaper before going out for a dinner date with Hugh. They are like the old couple silently eating their meal in a restaurant. But over time, the two come to the realization that having a stable relationship doesn't necessarily mean that conversation ALWAYS has to be had. This is exemplified through the phone conversation when they talk about both having consumed potato chips that day. That literally was the extent of their conversation, but neither hang up. They enjoy each other's presence, not necessarily every word said aloud.
As the story draws to a close, we are taken back to the fact that David is still stuck with a boil located on his bottom, and he has not yet sought treatment. One night, Hugh unexpectedly suggests to "lance" said boil off of David. Hugh bravely takes care of the problem, telling David that the boil was more of a pain to him than it was to David. They both survive the horrendous sight and stench and return to bed. David then gives Hugh the nickname '' Sir Lance-A-Lot" even though neither of them planned on doing that more than once. Hugh takes the nickname upon, knowing that he will be there to do it again if necessary at any point in the rest of their lives; when eventually THEY will be the old monogamous couple.
This story relates to me because although I have never been in a relationship, I have experienced the closest thing to it- being able to witness my brother and sister-in-law's marriage. I lived with my brother, sister-in-law, and their dog, Jed, for a month. Each day I would arrive home from school, take Jed for his walk, and then shortly after that Tommy and Christina would arrive home at about the same time. The greeting each early evening would be "Hey." "Hi!" The two would then retire their bags and work items, and then fall into the seats of the couch cushions in exhaust. There would be silence as Jed would be flooded from attention from all three of us; until I would pipe in "So how was your day?" Tommy would always respond back first. "Uhh… okay I guess." I didn't even have to ask Christina, she was always eager to say "Well my day was awful. The only reason I keep this job is because every spring I get a raise, and when I think about quitting in the fall I get a promotion." Then we would resume our silence, I would mumble something about doing homework and leave, but the two would sit together smiling, just petting Jed and enjoying each other's presence.
In the portion of the story where David and Hugh are talking on the phone solely about coincidentally having potato chips for lunch but neither wanted to hang up, I was reminded of Tommy and Christina. It isn't even the fact that the two of them can enjoy meals together in silence, or just make minimal small talk conversation, but also that throughout the day they will gmail chat each other about things totally irrelevant, but still enjoy the conversations. The point that I am trying to get across here is that actions speak louder than words. David and Hugh can enjoy hearing each other while filling up time talking about chips. Tommy and Christina can enjoy each other's humor while filling up time talking about different bed comforters and duvets.
Love is a universal language that can be spoken by all. It appears in the media as always being perfect, with regular conversations always had, and no problems ever. That is a false statement. There will be ups and downs, and topics of conversation that you never thought possible. Each couple is their own "Sir Lance-A-Lot," and hopefully no couple will ever have to brave their own boil.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)